This wedding ring used to symbolize hope, love, a new beginning, and a promising future. And for 24 years it did, on my part anyway. Then came the day my whole life as I knew it ended. With a smile on her face she told me, “I don’t love you anymore”, “I don’t want to be married to you anymore”, “I would tell you what I think of you, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings.” “Our son had every right to scream at and belittle you in front of everybody”, and I am leaving you for him. What did I learn from this?

Two things:

1. Don’t ever think you mean anything to anybody at any time, for any reason, because in the end you are nothing but trash to be discarded.
2. Love is transactional for women, they love what you can do for them or how you make them feel, not you. It’s naive to believe otherwise.

So with that said, it brings me back to my question, “How stupid was I?”

How stupid was I to believe for better or for worse, in sickness and health was true? How stupid was to think that someone loved me, cared about me and respected me? How stupid was I to trust another human being with my innermost thoughts and struggles? How stupid was I to think that a families love is unconditional? How stupid was I think that a son would never emotionally beat his father down to an emotional, bloody stump, because of his mothers influence and lies?

A permanently broken heart and feeling worthless is now my new normal. I have to come to terms with the fact that, I was nothing but a walking sperm bank with a wallet, and I will be nothing more and even less than that to my family when I am on my death bed.