I used to work as a body removal specialist for a local mortuary and one day I was transporting a body to an airport in another city, in order for her to be flown back home. As I was driving I was thinking of the procedure to follow once I arrived, since this was my first trip to the airport.
All of a sudden I hit a dip in the road and immediately heard a very loud “uuuuuhhhhhh” from the back of the van. Let me tell you, the sound of someone other than me making a loud sigh and knowing that the only other person in the vehicle is supposed to be dead, was enough to scare me silly.

I gripped the steering wheel trying not to wreck the van, since I had swerved when I flinched out of fright. I then slammed on the breaks, put the van in park faster than I had ever shifted a vehicle before and jumped out to calm down and assess the situation. No sooner had I exited the vehicle and a state trooper came up over the hill. He stopped behind the van, put his lights on, and
slowly approached the van. He saw me standing in front, sweating, shaking, and I am sure he could hear my knees knocking as loud as I did. He was very cautious at first and asked if I was ok. I said, “Yeah I am ok, but I don’t think the lady in the back of the van is dead like she is supposed to be.” The officer then replied, “Dead like she is supposed to be?” and I said, “Yes, I work for XXXX Mortuary and I am taking Mrs. XXXXX to the airport and I don’t think she is dead like she is supposed to be.”

The officers then stated, “Well, I can see from the name on the side of the van that having a body in there is not as weird as it sounds.” “No sir it’s all legit I promise, but I don’t think she is dead.” I replied. He then said, “Stay right there sir and I will check the back of the van for you.” The officer walked to the back of the van while I calmed down. And to be honest I started to feel a little silly at this point. He then returned and said, “I assure you sir, she is dead like she is supposed to be, but based on the skid marks on the road, the fact that your van is somewhat sideways with the front
sticking out a little in the lane of traffic, and you looking like you were about to faint when I first arrived, you were pretty scared.”

“A little scared, is an understatement officer, she sighed really loud.” I replied. The officer then asked me if I was new to the body removal field and I stated I was. He explained to me how hitting the dip just allowed air to move or escape, which made it sound like she sighed. We chatted for a few more minutes, then went on our merry way. I can only imagine the conversation around the table when the officer got back to the station and the explanation on the report he probably had to write. Furthermore, I don’t know how the officer kept a straight face during this encounter.

Source: The Coffee Table Gazette Issue 5. Published 07-17-21. Reprinted with permission.